Customer Rating: 
Summary: Love and Listening
Comment: This insightful, enjoyable book offers a wonderful framework for observing and experiencing relationships; and not just romantic ones (although the focus of the book is on the dynamics of marriage). While I was reading, I often found myself thinking about the 'love language' of my mother, brother, and friends and wondering if there were ways that I could express my love that would be more meaningful to them. One aspect of the book that I found particularly inspiring was when Dr. Chapman talked about the importance of listening; letting go of your opinions and agendas and just hearing where the other person is coming from- from their point of view.
Another great book that expands on the idea of listening is: How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life by Ariel and Shya Kane. In this book (and in the approach they teach in their workshops, podcasts and internet radio show) the Kanes talk about how true listening not only fosters intimacy and connection with your loved ones, it also pulls you into the current moment of now, which is the key to satisfaction and well-being. If you want to experience new depths of connection in your relationships, I highly recommend both of these books!
Customer Rating:
Summary: I chose not to love this book.
Comment: In THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, Gary Chapman explores what he believes is the cause of all marital dysfunction and breakdown: the different languages in which love can be expressed. According to Chapman, we each respond to one of the five "love languages"--affirmation, time, gifts, service, and touch--and will only feel sufficiently loved when we're being spoken to by our mates in that language.
The breakdown of the five love languages was fascinating, but Chapman's "love is a choice" philosophy is so bogus, it's not even funny. It's that kind of bass-ackwards thinking that lead many people into unhealthy relationships in the first place, and he wants to keep them there? Please.
According to Chapman, "real love" is a benign act we engage in willingly--like picking up cereal or refilling the gas tank on the way home from work--while being "in love" is a fabricated emotion built on obsession.
"...falling in love is not real love," writes Chapman, "because it is effortless. Whatever we do in the in-love state requires little discipline or conscious effort on our part."
The points Chapman makes are valid, but he approaches them with the kind of anti-divorce tunnel vision that is far too common in these kinds of books. You can no more choose to love someone than you can choose to be a blond-haired, blue-eyed mermaid who lives in an oversized clam shell off the coast of Maine. Oh, sure, you can bleach your hair, pop in a pair of contact lenses, and pretend you're a mermaid who lives in a clam shell off the coast of Maine, but that doesn't make it real.
And that's exactly the point I'm getting at. Chapman derides the "in love" feeling as being synthetic emotion, and yet, when push comes to shove, insists that when it comes to "real love", choosing to fake it is the way to go. Um. I don't have any fancy-schmancy degrees to back me up, but if you ask me, a forced act of love is about as genuine and meaningful as an effortless act of obsession. It's the wavering between the two extremes that leaves this book cold and sterile. I imagine the real "real love" is a happy medium between those two extremes--neither self-destrucive nor impotent.
All in all, I'd say the author gets it about half right, as much as his own personal values will let him. I would've been more pleased if the focus had been on choices made and physical actions done out of love than a crash course on how to fake it 'til you make it. There are a multitude of reasons why two partners fail to make a real and lasting connection with each other, and not every divorce is a failure. Sometimes that' the only way for the family unit to survive without being severely damaged. Asserting that we should all assign blame where there should be none is nothing but a recipe for resentment.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Great customer service!
Comment: This audio book arrived quickly and in great condition! I look forward to doing business with this seller in the future.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Five Love Languages
Comment: I would recommend this book to anyone who feels like they are in love with another. Having gone through a divorce I can see where my former spouse and I were definitely hearing and speaking two different love languages. The woman I am now in love with and I have read this book together, we've discussed virtually every page and both realize how important it is that we know, understand, and "hear" the love language of each other. Luckily for us, when we answered the questions at the end we found that we are within a single point of speaking the same languages...our secondary languages are the same and even our third language is the same. This is definitely a book that anyone involved in a relationship, whether a good one or a bad one, needs to read. I've recommended it to all my married friends...who knows, it may save their marriage.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Five Love Languages
Comment: This book will help change your thinking path. It is very helpful to strengthening your relationships!
Summary: Love and Listening
Comment: This insightful, enjoyable book offers a wonderful framework for observing and experiencing relationships; and not just romantic ones (although the focus of the book is on the dynamics of marriage). While I was reading, I often found myself thinking about the 'love language' of my mother, brother, and friends and wondering if there were ways that I could express my love that would be more meaningful to them. One aspect of the book that I found particularly inspiring was when Dr. Chapman talked about the importance of listening; letting go of your opinions and agendas and just hearing where the other person is coming from- from their point of view.
Another great book that expands on the idea of listening is: How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life by Ariel and Shya Kane. In this book (and in the approach they teach in their workshops, podcasts and internet radio show) the Kanes talk about how true listening not only fosters intimacy and connection with your loved ones, it also pulls you into the current moment of now, which is the key to satisfaction and well-being. If you want to experience new depths of connection in your relationships, I highly recommend both of these books!
Customer Rating:
Summary: I chose not to love this book.
Comment: In THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, Gary Chapman explores what he believes is the cause of all marital dysfunction and breakdown: the different languages in which love can be expressed. According to Chapman, we each respond to one of the five "love languages"--affirmation, time, gifts, service, and touch--and will only feel sufficiently loved when we're being spoken to by our mates in that language.
The breakdown of the five love languages was fascinating, but Chapman's "love is a choice" philosophy is so bogus, it's not even funny. It's that kind of bass-ackwards thinking that lead many people into unhealthy relationships in the first place, and he wants to keep them there? Please.
According to Chapman, "real love" is a benign act we engage in willingly--like picking up cereal or refilling the gas tank on the way home from work--while being "in love" is a fabricated emotion built on obsession.
"...falling in love is not real love," writes Chapman, "because it is effortless. Whatever we do in the in-love state requires little discipline or conscious effort on our part."
The points Chapman makes are valid, but he approaches them with the kind of anti-divorce tunnel vision that is far too common in these kinds of books. You can no more choose to love someone than you can choose to be a blond-haired, blue-eyed mermaid who lives in an oversized clam shell off the coast of Maine. Oh, sure, you can bleach your hair, pop in a pair of contact lenses, and pretend you're a mermaid who lives in a clam shell off the coast of Maine, but that doesn't make it real.
And that's exactly the point I'm getting at. Chapman derides the "in love" feeling as being synthetic emotion, and yet, when push comes to shove, insists that when it comes to "real love", choosing to fake it is the way to go. Um. I don't have any fancy-schmancy degrees to back me up, but if you ask me, a forced act of love is about as genuine and meaningful as an effortless act of obsession. It's the wavering between the two extremes that leaves this book cold and sterile. I imagine the real "real love" is a happy medium between those two extremes--neither self-destrucive nor impotent.
All in all, I'd say the author gets it about half right, as much as his own personal values will let him. I would've been more pleased if the focus had been on choices made and physical actions done out of love than a crash course on how to fake it 'til you make it. There are a multitude of reasons why two partners fail to make a real and lasting connection with each other, and not every divorce is a failure. Sometimes that' the only way for the family unit to survive without being severely damaged. Asserting that we should all assign blame where there should be none is nothing but a recipe for resentment.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Great customer service!
Comment: This audio book arrived quickly and in great condition! I look forward to doing business with this seller in the future.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Five Love Languages
Comment: I would recommend this book to anyone who feels like they are in love with another. Having gone through a divorce I can see where my former spouse and I were definitely hearing and speaking two different love languages. The woman I am now in love with and I have read this book together, we've discussed virtually every page and both realize how important it is that we know, understand, and "hear" the love language of each other. Luckily for us, when we answered the questions at the end we found that we are within a single point of speaking the same languages...our secondary languages are the same and even our third language is the same. This is definitely a book that anyone involved in a relationship, whether a good one or a bad one, needs to read. I've recommended it to all my married friends...who knows, it may save their marriage.
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Five Love Languages
Comment: This book will help change your thinking path. It is very helpful to strengthening your relationships!
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate Reviews: Page 2 of 127
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